I suck at life

and the internet.  It says on my profile thing that i spend a lot of time on the internet.  that is no longer the truth.  and i obviously got bored with the many misadventures of my house and it's tupperware.  oh i still love it and i have plenty but i was bored.  or i found a shiny thing to look at. 

but the point here is this, i just reached my own person weight loss goal.  and a goal i set at the beginning of the year to accomplish by the end of the year.  It's been a journey four years in the making so it's exciting to have reached a pivotal point.  is it the end? well that i haven't decided yet so let's start with the begining.

January 20th 2011, I have no idea what it was inside me that decided today was the day.  I knew i had been thinking about joining some for of weight loss program for awhile.  i had friends who attended this specific one 

Starts new ramblings HERE:

I haven't touched this space since 2014 it appears. A lot has happened since then. Weight loss goals met and lost. Marriage failed. Friend group changed. Homes changed more than I would have liked. Pets have come and gone. Jobs have shifted.

But it' interesting that this is the draft that I picked up on when I thought, thirty seconds ago, "I wonder where that stupid blog I was writing went?"

The reason for even thinking about the blog actually circles back to the weight loss part of my life. I am, sadly, the heaviest I have been in a decade right now. Not back to my heaviest ever that I was aware of, but 20 pounds from it. 

How did I get here, again. Marriage failure, pet deaths, home moves, post pandemic "how do I life again?", anger eating (didn't know THAT was a thing), overall not caring and attempting to self soothe via food. It's really as simple as that.

Today, I fit into the jeans I wore when I walked into my first ever Weight Watchers meeting 11 years ago. They are a size 24 and this is upsetting and unfortunate. I had gotten into size 10 and stayed there for a number of months if not years. But, here I am again. Starting all over it feels.

The only point of this is for myself. Somewhere to write down how I'm doing. My support group is really nonexistent these days as far as weight loss goes. I do feel like I'm in this alone and I need to find ways to stay motivated and accountable and reach my goals again. 

There are large goals, lose 80 pounds minimum. But there are smaller bit by bit goals as well. Drink 92 ounces of water per day. Eat two servings of healthy oils per day. Get 11,000 steps per day. And as for weight loss, lose 2 pounds this week.

I don't think I have it in me to write in this space every day, but I would like to keep a running weekly tally of how it's going and where my head is at. And that's the plan as it stands right now.

Plans change. Life changes, I've learned that the hard way in the last decade. While it's not surprising the ways it has changed, some of them, have come as a surprise. 

I wonder where the next ten years will have me land.

I found my way back

Well I guess it's been awhile since I've been in here because the entire look is new and I can't really figure out my way around.  Everything is different which I guess is what you get if you don't log in for a year and eight months.  Man I suck at stuffs!!!  But, on the bright side, I actually remembered my password so I'm not locked out forever.  How excited are we all.

Uhhh do we spend some time catching up?  That sounds hard.  Here's the short story:

Still live with husband and sister.
Still love tupperware.
Lost 64 lbs.
Quitting my job (any second now)

O.K.  We're all caught up.  Go team. 

Let's see if we can keep this up a little better from here on out shall we!

TUPPERWARE

i can't help it i like tupperware. like most females i do not really enjoy the act of going to a tupperware party or the act of opening up my wallet to fork over money i don't have for tupperware i don't need. but i do like, no perhaps love, me some tupperware.

recently a friend of mine (the second in a 365 day time span) has become a tupperware consultant. in my attempt to support her and her need for some extra cash i have in the last 3 months spent more money on tupperware then i can recall. which has lead to this dilemma: where the hell am i going to put all of this sexy tupperware!

so, from one of the many tupperware parties i went to in 2010 i purchased these items:

the next party i went to i purchased this:

(this stuff is currently in use)

and lastly while attending tupperware bingo a few weeks back i purchased (and won) even more.

on top of all of this new tupperware i've purchased i also have pieces that i've stolen from my mom

as well as pieces she or i purchased many years ago when my cousin was a consultant:

so as you can see i have a lot of tupperware. not as much as some but certainly more then others. and if you ask my husband i have plenty and there is no need to buy more. silly husband you can never have too much tupperware. this shit is great.

now back to the dilemma.

i want to separate all of the tupperware, which is not to leave this house or be used by the husband, from the cheaper stuff i now care about less and don't mind if it goes missing or ends up under the seat of someones car for six months just to emerge fully furry and frightening. but where am i going to put it and how am i going to do this?

step one: buy these bookshelves:

these were at the thrift store originally marked at $8.50 and then hiked up to $12.00 or something. i waited not so patiently for them to go on sale and as of saturday my friend purchased them for me for $0.75 a piece with an additional 25% off. my math says this means i got them for $1.37 which is not too bad. while they were still at the store i didn't think i would need both of them but figured you can't have too many shelves and if i didn't use them someone sure could.

so i got them home and wiped them off and moved them into the kitchen to prepare for step two: find a wall for them when i realized, i don't think i want all my precious tupperware on open shelves exposed to the elements. the dog hair and the splash from the dog bowl and the vomit from the occasional stupid girl who pukes on my kitchen floor. ok that last one only happened once but you never know when it might happen again. major sad. now what was i going to do? i could put all the crummy non-tupperwareness on these and keep my good tupperware in the original cabinet. and then i saw this:

these drawers were given to me by my uncle because they kind of suck and they have been housing all of this weirdness for i don't even know how long:

but now it hits me. drawers would be good for the tupperware. especially the lids. but can i make it all fit. and where do i put all the stuff that's currently in the drawers?

turns out kind of. i can make it most of it fit. as for the items that were in the drawers that stuff all now lives here:

but where am i going to put these drawers? i had wanted the tupperware in the kitchen, easily accessible but these drawers are in the dinning room and that's just to far. so the moving of furniture begins and this is where we have left it for now!

not my favorite at all. there has to be a better placement for all of this stuff. but for now i'm done. time will tell how many times i or some one walks in the the drawers and bleeds and i am open to any and all suggestions. i fear that i will not be happy until i am covered in tupperware curled up in the fetal position and someone takes over this project. or i will spend the rest of my time in this house moving these three pieces of furniture and everything in and on them.

well....

i've made some significant headway on the den in the last few weeks. in fact, if i hadn't gotten my nose pierced last week it would have been better and if my high school reunion wasn't this weekend i'd be done this weekend.

how does piercing my nose hinder my cleaning abilities you ask? well i got my nose done last week and had this fear that the puncture wound in my nose was going to get full of all the dust and dirt from my old crap so i didn't want to work in the den for a few days.

and as far as my reunion goes i have no plans to attend but a friend of mine is being pretty persistent and not excepting any of my excuses so i fear i may have to spend my saturday night at doppelgangers instead of working on cleaning. which is what i'd rather be doing. for many reasons but the biggest being, i hate doppelgangers.

but the den is looking amazing if i do say so myself. i've thrown away tons of crap and i've boxed up and taken 6 tubs or so to storage and i'm just so proud of myself. i hope hope hope to have the whole thing done before the party on the 19th because then we can open up the doors which makes the house look brighter and bigger and that i love. the last step is going to be shop vacing (it's a word) the windows and window sills of all the dead spiders and bees. yay!!! it's actually kind of gross and i can't figure out how so many freaking bees get in that room but i'm not enjoying all their tiny carcasses lying around my den. it's gross and i'm afraid i'm either going to step on one and get stung by a dead bee or the mo is going to eat one. which would also be bad.

while i did not take and before pictures i will take a slew of after one because i plan to be very very proud of myself once it's done.

i'm awesome!

the end.

Not enough time

I did the math this morning and if i go to work for 8 hours and i sleep for 8 hours that leaves me 8 hours for other things. well i need 2 hours for dinner and 1 hour to get ready for work and 1 hour for working out that then leaves me with 2 hours to watch t.v. 1 hour to knit or crochet and 1 hour to read. if i plan my life out as such i get to do all the things i want to do but nothing else. ever.

of course there are the weekends and those i don't have to work and so there is more time to hang out, if i ever wanted to, and then there are all the household chores to do as well but this just feels too scheduled and i'm not really a fan of that.

this budgeting of my time comes from me realizing yesterday that i don't get to read as much as i'd like to and i don't do stringy things as much as i'd like to. i can always string while watching t.v. but i've realized there are things i want to learn and that means i need to pay attention to what i'm doing and in some cases even find a tutor.

while in phoenix last month i managed to do some knitting but didn't finish the blanket like i wanted to and when i got home i got a treadmill so that's my new toy and taken up some but not all of my attention and with the weather being nicer it means i can more easily work on the den cause it's not so cold.

yet i still feel like there just isn't enough time. i always feel like i can't get to sleep fast enough and i haven't accomplished anything on my to-do list. then again, what's on my to-do list? i'm not really sure but i feel like nothing ever gets taken off the list.

so the big question is do i need more time? or is it simply that i need to want to do less?

the end

making plans

well it's that time again. when all the kids are out of school for a week and i am reminded that as a grown up i get no spring break. makes me sad and old. along with the lack of break i get, i get to add all of those out of school kids to my every day life. it's a lovely little tradition we like to call vacation bible school. a.k.a. vbs. yes vbs is here once again and i can hardly believe it. feels like i just wrapped up kettles. how can it be april already. i don't know but it is. and as i sit here i am wondering how this week will go. will the movie be sucky with the pool be open. will i have enough adult men to escort boys to the bathroom. the wonderful joys of my life.

however, if i can bring myself to look just past vbs i see vacation. wonderful vacation. nothing fun or exciting other then no work and seeing family i haven't seen in a year.

every year i make a trip to the phoenix area to see my grandma. i'm lucky because there are many aunts and uncles and cousins who live there or also visit often so i get to see a group of them all at once. it's retardedly hot in arizona 300 days of the year so i have very specific times when i will visit and due to my work schedule those dates are narrowed down even further. i pretty much am only willing to go january to may and even april and may are too hot. but i love my family so i suck it up and only complain when they can't hear. i try to go sooner then this like february or march but this year it's april and it will be better then the year it was may. and the year it was october. i never new it could be 100 degrees in october any where. that was a strange experiance i have to say. the weather forcast says it will be high 80's most of the time i'm there and while i'm not thrilled with this degree of heat i am just glad it's not hotter.

i leave on saturday so i have 5 days to pack but true to me i have already started compiling a list and a small pile of things i won't need between now and then. an extra towel so as not to die grandmas towels blue and purple with my hair, a nice dress and shoes to match, capris (it's 45 here today so i don't need those here yet), shorty socks, flip-flops (again no plans to wear them while it's 45). things of that nature. things like shampoo and deodorant will have to wait to be packed until friday because i will want to use them again before then.

i always find deciding what extracurricular goodies to bring one of the two hardest parts about packing for a trip. haven't played the ds in quite some time but what if while i'm away i have a burning need to play. should i bring it or not.

the second hardest part only applies if flying (which i am this trip) and that's, how do i pack? carry on everything but a small checked bag full of full size bath products? put bath products in 3 oz containers in a quart size zip-lock? check everything except the important things and the stave off boredom items (laptop, camera, knitting). i just can't decide. my instincts say to check only the bath stuff and carry everything else. don't want to be stuck in phoenix while my underpants have been sent to milwaukee. then again, there is a part of me that says "make it easy on yourself. it's a vacation. check everything you can and hope for the best. airlines almost never lose luggage any more"

any thoughts?

the end.

all craft some of the time

i took these picture weeks ago. well two weeks ago. sunday the 14th was all craft night at the house. i took pictures with the hope that i could show off some of the things i finished and the newest addition to my on going prayer shawl. i then lent my camera to jen and have only now gotten around to bragging about my awesome craftyness. i'm lazy it happens.

so the humans of the house have chosen to participate in disney's give a day get a day program. for those of you who don't know what that is, basically you sign up with disney to volunteer with a designated organization in your area and when you have completed your volunteer time you get a free one day ticket to disney. well we decided to help out the binky patrol which is an organization that gives blankets to kids who need comfort. the blankets are made of fleece and are called tie or no-sew blankets because all you do is get 2 yards of fleece and then cut and tie the edges making fringe. so easy, and i thought they were pretty fun and soft. and i usually hate fleece. we each made two. i thought i'd pick fleece colors and patterns that could be used for either a boy or a girl and i did the large ones for teens.

the first one i did

the second one i did

they are a nice size and i was excited with the second fleece i picked because the squares made the measuring much easier.

while i didn't get to work on my prayer shawl that night i did take a moment to take a picture of the progress i had made. two days earlier at my bi-weekly thursday night knitting group i finished the second skein of my shawl. i had been itching to start the next skein but wanted to take it's picture before moving on. i threw in a mo for scale.

thanks mo dog!!

it's a nice size. i think when it's done it will be a great length but i'm sure i'm going to wish it was wider. because of that fact, i am now on the hunt for a simple blanket pattern that i can make that will be a good size for wrapping myself in. i know i could take the current measurements and adjust them to make the right size but i haven't figured out the method for that yet.

some day though.

the end!